☀️ Good morning and welcome back to The Nosebleeds.

✌️ The second week of the NFL season is in the books.

🏈 The kick is up and here we go.

⏪️ Week 2 Recap

⭐️ GAME OF THE WEEK: Commanders 35, Broncos 33

What a game at Mile High Stadium.

Denver came out 🔥, taking an early 21-3 lead thanks to some mid-2010’s style moon balls from Russell Wilson

But Washington continued to chip away, eventually gaining the lead in the 4th quarter and Denver’s only remaining hope being a completed Hail Mary pass as time expired…

Off a couple helmets and hands, the pass was eventually caught by Brandon Johnson with 0:00 on the clock.

However, the Broncos still needed the 2-point conversion to tie the game, which Washington was able to prevent and earn the victory in regulation (with a little help from the stripes, that’s clearly PI).

Nonetheless, the Washington Commanders are 2-0 and looking dangerous with former Kansas City Chiefs’ Offensive Coordinator Eric Bieniemy calling the plays.

Eagles 34 (2-0), Vikings 28 (0-2)

Four turnovers plus 259 rushing yards allowed for Minnesota is certainly not a recipe for success… Philly remains undefeated but sure don’t look as strong as they did last season.

Buccaneers 27 (2-0), Bears 17 (0-2)

Justin Fields is hilariously bad.

Whoever bet on this guy to take home the MVP award, the sportsbooks would like to thank you for your generous donation.

Falcons 25 (2-0), Packers 24 (1-1)

Falcons score 13 unanswered points in the 4th quarter to remain undefeated…. sure don’t Love that if you’re a Packers fan 🙈 

Colts 31 (1-1), Texans 20 (0-2)

Indianapolis rookie QB Anthony Richardson was balling out against Houston. Unfortunately he suffered a concussion on his second TD run of the game—hopefully he is not out of the lineup for any extended period of time.

Seahawks 37 (1-1), Lions 31 (1-1) (OT)

Seattle wins another high-scoring affair over Detroit.

Same old Lions, amirite? 🤷‍♀️ 

Titans 27 (1-1), Chargers 24 (0-2) (OT)

Chargers lose again… Brandon Staley’s days in Los Angeles have to be numbered

Ravens 27 (2-0), Bengals 24 (0-2)

Joe Burrow reaggravated his calve injury, Ja’Marr Chase is invincible out there… the Bengals are winless and their short-term outlook is not very positive.

Bills 38 (1-1), Raiders 10 (1-1)

Josh Allen looked like himself again as Buffalo dominates Las Vegas for their first win of the season.

Chiefs 17 (1-1), Jaguars 9 (1-1)

What was supposed to be one of the best games of the day was actually a snooze-fest—Kansas City gets in the win column in Travis Kelce’s return.

49ers 30 (2-0), Rams 23 (1-1)

San Francisco continues to prove that they are among the NFL’s elite. Meanwhile, Los Angeles should not be slept on—they look dangerous thanks to Puka Nacua being the best WR to ever grace the planet Earth.

Giants 31 (1-1), Cardinals 28 (0-2)

Giants fans were about to riot in the streets of New York before Daniel Jones led the Giants to the largest comeback win in franchise history (21 points).

Arizona has fully embraced tanking for Caleb Williams (or maybe Shedeur Sanders 👀).

Cowboys 30 (2-0), Jets 10 (1-1)

Dallas’ defense is legit. +60 point differential through two games is ridiculous—they may be the best team in the NFL right now.

There have been murmurs that Aaron Rodgers’ special Achilles surgery could have him ready to return for the playoffs. Well, that is not going to happen if Zach Wilson continues to play like Zach Wilson we’re all familiar with. Three more interceptions for the MILF-loving BYU product in the Big D on Sunday.

Dolphins 24 (2-0), Patriots 17 (0-2)

The best offensive mind in the NFL, Mike McDaniels, outduels the best defensive mind, Bill Bilichek, on Sunday Night Football.

New England did a good job containing Tyreek Hill, holding him to only 40 receiving yards. But the extra attention given to Tyreek Hill created holes for RB Raheem Mostert, who had 127 total yards and 2 TDs in the win.

Saints 20 (2-0), Panthers 17 (0-2)

Bryce Young’s home debut was boring as hell. The Saints play maybe the most boring brand of football in the NFL, and the Panthers’ weapons cannot create any separation. Consider me glad there was a second Monday Night Football game I could watch instead.

Steelers 26 (1-1), Browns 22 (1-1)

Another Game of the Week candidate, but it certainly wasn’t for the quality of football that was on display in this game.

Exhibit A:

On a sadder note, Browns’ star RB Nick Chubb suffered a gruesome knee injury (so gruesome they wouldn’t even show the replay on TV), and has been declared out for the season. The injury was so bad, the entire crowd gasped when they saw the replay on the jumbotron.

🏅 Fantasy Football Week 2 MVP

Remember, this award is not for the best fantasy performance of the week, but rather a performance that turns a loss into a win in one of the final games of the week.

The Fantasy Football Week 2 MVP is…

George Pickens: 22.7 PTS

• 4 receptions

• 127 yards

• 1 TD

🩸 Bloody Good Play of the Week: NFL Week 2 Edition

You’ve already seen it today, but it has to be Russell Wilson’s Hail Mary TD pass with time expiring that ended up in the hands of Denver WR Brandon Johnson.

Would’ve been an even cooler play if the Broncos actually tied the game with the 2-point conversion though… no clutch gene.

🍿 Week 3 Watchlist

Thursday Night Football: Giants @ 49ers

New York already got trampled by the Cowboys in week 1, no reason to believe they won’t be walloped again against the NFC’s most complete team in week 3.

Sunday - Early Slate: Chargers @ Vikings

I know these teams are both winless so far, but there aren’t many good matchups this week. Both teams seem to be allergic to winning, so it should be entertaining to watch each team try and give the game away.

Sunday - Afternoon Slate: honestly I got nothing, just watching RedZone

• Panthers @ Seahawks

• Cowboys @ Cardinals

• Bears @ Chiefs

🤮 🤮 🤮 

Sunday Night Football: Steelers @ Raiders

Kind of a mid-tier matchup for Sunday Night Football—hopefully it’s a close game.

Monday Night Football: Eagles @ Buccaneers, Rams @ Bengals

Another MNF doubleheader next week.

We start with a battle of undefeateds between Philly and Tampa, followed by a potentially Joe Burrow-less Cincinnati Bengals hosting Puka “better than Ja’Marr Chase” Nacua and the Rams one-hour later.

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